Hookers Deeply Offended by Comparison to Politicans

Joy Tiz

©2009

Members of the world’s oldest profession are infuriated by the relentless and invidious likening of their industry  to the world’s second oldest profession.  Word on the street, literally, is that hookers are prepared to exact an apology for the defiling of their good names .

Even those not well acquainted with the whoring business should be able to appreciate the asymmetry between a freely bargained for  and mutually beneficial exchange, versus extorting taxpayer funds in the service of tyrants.

Paid escorts everywhere are especially aggrieved by the hooker title being conferred upon thoroughly contemptible politicians; including Mary Landrieu and Ben Nelson.  Nebraska Democrat Nelson, who was elected on a pro life platform, sold millions of unborn babies in exchange for extravagant tax payer funded perks for his soon to be former home state.

Nelson has tried to mitigate his betrayal as an abortion opt out compromise, which Nebraska Republican Mike Johanns correctly defined as a mere “accounting gimmick”.  The clause is an ersatz segregation of funds rule, which nobody believes will be effective.

 “The really heartbreaking thing for Nebraskans, we are a pro-life state. Nebraskans will now be faced with a situation where they know that their dollars are going to provide funding for abortions across the country,” Johanns said.

The prostitute coterie is properly troubled about Washington’s  contemptuous disposition towards their profession.  They fear that the incessant aspersions toward their industry will lead to a government takeover, with calamitous results.  In 1990, the federal government seized the legendary and too- big- to- fail Mustang Ranch in Nevada for tax violations.  Under the administration of the federal government, the  business, predictably collapsed.  The same government that could not keep a cathouse in Nevada afloat is now poised to commandeer the entire health care industry.

Hookers are also quick to admonish that unlike congress, working girls outside of the D.C.  area only infrequently take taxpayer money.

It is anticipated that ACORN will be making a statement on behalf of the hooker community and demanding an apology as well as offering interest free business loans to struggling brothel owners.

 

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