Four Legs Good, Two Legs Bad!

Every time I hear the occupiers or the president bleating on about “fairness”, I can’t help but remember that old mantra from George Orwell’s Animal House.  “Four legs good, two legs bad” the animals would chant over and over as they inadvertently mapped out their own demise in service of “fairness” and the greater good.

Now Obama is telling us that it’s the job of the President of the United States to ensure that every American gets a “fair shot”.  Let me assure you, nowhere in the Constitution does it mention your right to a fair shot.  Or anything else about fairness for that matter.

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First Gay President’s Cigar Explodes

The House of Exploding Cigars finally fired one that would create collateral damage, unlike their previous run of self destructos.  Last week, the President of the United States made the entirely toothless statement that he had “evolved” into a pro gay marriage position.

The only correct response to this announcement was:  so what?  Where are the jobs?

 Instead, those who should have more sense, that would be the right wing punditry class, have wasted countless hours on the airwaves arguing about gay marriage as if that were an actual issue, thereby giving Obama exactly what he wants.

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Obama Swiftboats Himself

It’s another gosh, I wish I’d said that moment, but credit goes to Mark Steyn  for pointing out that Team O keeps lighting exploding cigars for itself.  The always unflinching Toby Harnden found the remnants of the latest cigar bomb by talking to former and currently serving Navy SEALS who are livid at our naked emperor for using Special Forces as ‘ammunition’ for his re-election campaign.

Obama’s narcissism aside, what were they thinking, using Bill Clinton of all people, in their ad about Obama’s Profile in Courage?  This would be the same Bill Clinton who refused to take bin Laden from the Sudanese government not once, but three times.

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Party Like It’s 2012

It’s not 2008 anymore, though you wouldn’t know it listening to the doomsayers.  I already explained how Obama got himself  into the White House in Obamanutz:  a Cult Leader Takes the White House

The same country who just couldn’t live without him has had quite enough of him now.  And candidate Obama himself is unraveling.  Each time he talks, he’s less coherent than the time before.  Then his surrogates scramble to get on TV to embarrass themselves.

Memo to Axe:  you can’t  make chicken salad out of chicken droppings.

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SAHM Missile Launch a Stunning Success

The Romney Army was finally able to fire its elegant and powerful SAHM missile the other day in retaliation for a weak, North Korean style attack by a heretofore unknown Obama operative.  The SAHM missile performed magnificently, leaving tremendous wreckage in its wake.

Some unknown writer or pundit or something named Hillary Rosen was used as a human shield when she publicly provoked the Romney Army by claiming that Ann Romney had never “worked” a day in her life.

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Mitt Saved Lives–Who Knew?

If character matters again, conservatives can take some time out from grousing about being stuck with Romney as their candidate and spend a little time doing a some vetting on their own.  Who knew, for example, that back in 2003, Mitt Romney saved a family and their dog from drowning? 

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Somewhere Breitbart is Smiling

James O’Keefe, protege of the late Andrew Breitbart cooked up his most hilarious sting to date.  O’Keefe, in disguise, showed up at a DC polling place claiming to be Eric Holder.  You remember him, the attorney general who is adamantly opposed to requiring a photo ID of any sort for voters.

The poll workers couldn’t have been more accommodating.  They were only too happy to give O’Keefe-Holder a ballot once he said he was Eric Holder and gave his address (which was bleeped out.  Would that liberals show such restraint). 

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Obama’s Got Israel’s Back: Thats Where the Knife Goes

Is the Obama administration using either leaks or black propaganda to sabotage Israel’s defence against the threat of genocide?-

Melanie Phillips, Daily Mail Online

Evidently, reporters at the Daily Mail are not so caught up in the Trayvon ruckus that they’re ignoring the Obama administration’s most recent and most brazen efforts at sabotaging Israel’s efforts to keep itself on the planet.

John Bolton, also seemingly immune from Trayvonmania, told Fox News that an article in Foreign Policy quoted government sources claiming that Israel had been granted access to airfields in Azerbaijan, a former Soviet puppet state.

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Open Mic Night

Our president really can’t keep that cake hole of his shut.  To hell with decorum and security.  Last time, it was his belly aching about Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu to Sarko.  To date, Netanyahu has displayed too much dignity to respond to Obama’s adolescent whining.

Obama has managed to get himself caught blabbing on an open mic yet again.  This time, the lucky listener was Dimitry Medvedev, the “president” of Russia.  Barry, unable to hide either his true agenda or shut himself up, reassured Medvedev that once he’s reelected (a potential national nightmare that only he takes completely for granted), he plans to ease up a bit on the Russians.  Medvedev promised to convey this joyous news to Vlad the KGB Impaler.

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Illinois, Illinois

By thy rivers gently flowing, Illinois, Illinois.  O’er they prairies verdant growing, Illinois, Illinois . . . or something like that.  In elementary school, we had to learn the Illinois state song.  Even more incredibly, we had to know the Star Spangled Banner and the Pledge of Allegiance before they were outlawed by liberals in all 57 states.

I’m giving up my age here, but I grew up under the real Mayor Daley, not today’s cheap imitations, in Mayor Daley’s Chicago.  As a child growing up in a politically engaged household, I was aware at an early age that Illinois is actually a mere appendage of Chicago.  Something of a suburb, if you will.

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Democrats Lose the Phony War on Women

The president’s reelection prospects are looking so dim that Democrats have had to manufacture more pretend evil behavior by the Republicans.

This time they’re spreading the news that the criminalization of contraception is a core plank of the Republican platform.  (How have we kept this secret for so long?)   Sure, it sounds crazy on its face but Republican commentators are doing their darndest to keep this issue front and center, keeping the make believe “War on Women” game going even longer.  As if pointing out that liberals say horrid things about Republican women is going to get Bill Maher exposed as a hypocrite and kicked out of the party of hypocrisy.  Frankly, until this contraceptive crisis struck, I had no idea Bill Maher had a TV show.

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Valor Without Actors

From now on, any action adventure or war movie is going to feel like one of those cheap flimsy outfits made in China from one of the big box stores.  The flimsy thing is okay in its own way;  it may be entirely serviceable.  At least for awhile.  But what it lacks is substance and timelessness.

With Act of Valor, you can touch and feel the genuine article.  Rich in tone and texture, the quality is unlike anything coming out of Hollywood.

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Santorum Calls Out Obama’s Boss

Is the media really trying to convince us that someone other than Satan himself has taken over America?  It didn’t start with Obama, but we could at least begin to take our country back by being rid of Obama next election.

So Santorum gives a speech in 2008 insulting Satan and that’s a problem?  A current president who pronounces us no longer a Christian nation, parties with notorious anti- semites and detests the Prime Minister of Israel–none of that is worthy of mention?

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Missiles? They Don’t Need No Stinkin Missiles!

I admit I was listening to Fox News with only half an ear while I was working this morning, but the anchorette grabbed my full attention when she asked her expert about Iran.  To paraphrase, she wanted to know in what act we may be in this Iran drama.  Are we just seeing previews?

Huh?

Her guest responded with swiftness and certainty that we are now in the final act.

Liberals are convinced that Iran’s rapidly improving nuclear capability cannot possibly be a threat until they figure out some way to launch the danged things.  Until Hugo Chavez builds a missile launch site for them off the coast of Florida, liberals refuse to pay attention.

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Introducing the Food Security Administration

Be prepared for the White House to roll out its newest bureaucracy, the Food Security Administration (FSA).  The FSA will be responsible for monitoring school childrens’ lunches to ensure no contraband treats can be covertly brought into school lunchrooms.

The plan is to set up a screening device which will be calibrated to sound an alarm when it detects the presence of sugar or salt in your child’s lunchbox.  Any lunch bag or box that fails to pass the initial screening will be inspected by an FSA agent.  If contraband is found, it will be confiscated immediately and will be replaced with a bowl of oat bran.

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Know When to Hold Him

Proving that not every politician who comes out of California is a complete lunatic, The Daily Caller is reporting that Republican Darrell Issa is pushing forward with his investigation of Eric Fast-n-Furious Holder.

Despite the AGs office begging and pleading for more time to shred, er I mean, produce documents, Issa told the Department he wasn’t willing to wait any longer and demanded a date by which we can all expect the Department to comply with the subpoena they’ve been ignoring for weeks.

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Barack Castro Deploys His Special Truth Teams

Team O is preparing to launch their deadly Truth Teams to go after American citizens who dare to criticize Barry Castro.  Didn’t we go through this last time when the O Team tried launching their ludicrous “Fight the Smears” campaign?  As I recall, that attempt at stifling free speech and turning citizens against each other quickly became a running joke.

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Winning Through Whining

It’s entirely un-Presidential to constantly complain about how the other candidates are always picking on you.  With the notable exception of Rick Santorum who has been known to grouse, correctly, about not getting enough attention at the debates.

Newt is the wort offender by far with his endless bleating.  Oooooohhh, that mean Mitt Romney is running mean, mean commercials about me.  OOOOOhhh, did you know that mean Mitt is a CAPITALIST?

Exactly what is Newt’s plan for coping with the tonnage of manure that Team O will be hurling his way should be become the Republican nominee?  Romney’s ads are going to look like love sonnets by comparison.  By the way, no disrespect meant to manure.  Unlike many politicians, manure has legitimate uses.

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Brian’s Snooze Fest

What the hell was that last night?  At least I was able to skip my melatonin last night.  Somebody please fill me in on the last 30 minutes or so.

Newt was hurt the most;  he needs to play to an audience.  NBC’s wildly overpaid anchor, Brian Williams led us into near catatonia by announcing at the start of the alleged debate that the audience was to keep quiet.

If only the same rule could be invoked for tonight’s State of the Union.   We wouldn’t have to watch a bunch of idiot party hacks jumping up and down and carrying on the embarrassing tradition of Pelosirobics.

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Ricochet Revenge

On the Night Newt Won South Carolina (you’ll never forget where you where when you got the news on that one), the pundits were all atwitter about the female vote.  How, after all, could women possibly vote for Newt?  Were they not paying attention to all hard work done by the mainstream media to unearth Newt’s angry and unpleasant ex wife; the one person certain to provide the unvarnished truth about the guy who dumped her?

Any woman who has dated or married a man with children knows all too well that somewhere in the package is an ex wife, often a quite angry and disgruntled ex wife who dedicates her life to getting revenge against her ex and his new love. 

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